


The world could always use more... heroes?

by rage_quitter



Category: Overwatch (Video Game), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, Fake AH Crew, Overwatch AU, mentions of the OW characters but they're not directly in this, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9371456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rage_quitter/pseuds/rage_quitter
Summary: A rescue mission gone right. It's the only thing going right for the Fakes, it seems; no one has time to get kidnapped when there are marching armies of evil robots and a mysterious terrorist group wrecking havoc all over the world.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, look, writing It's been a while since I've posted anything!   
> This is the FAHC in the Overwatch universe. I'm not sure if this will be the only part, or if I might write more in a separate fic, but have this anyway.

Los Santos.

A city rebuilt from the ruins after war. Bigger, shinier, with hovercars zooming through the streets and omnics living among the populace. 

While officially the city was run by typical American democracy (that was to say, poorly) everyone knew the real rulers of Los Santos, and really all of the island of San Andreas, was the Fake AH Crew.

The politicians and police force of the city would call them criminals. A gang. A threat.

The citizens of the city whispered that they were heroes, protectors.

Of course, that wasn’t on the tips of tongues as they busted into another gang’s warehouse.

Ryan, his facepaint glowing red underneath his black skull mask, glared into the warehouse with his shotgun leaning against his shoulder and his knives glittering at his belt. Behind him, Michael, grinning with blood caking his freckled nose, fingers tapping at his carbine. 

This time, the warehouse wasn’t empty. The other gang members inside jumped up and scrambled for weapons. Terror filled their faces.

Jeremy, short and broad, sat behind them, tied to a chair. His eye was swollen and purple, his nose most definitely broken, a knife sticking out of his leg. He looked surprisingly calm, then excited when his crewmates came in.

“Yo, assholes!” Michael yelled, raising his carbine to fire two shots into the ceiling, popping a light. “You got thirty seconds to let him go before we come over there to get him.”

The gang members looked at each other, confused, scared, conflicted.

Michael sneered. “Thirty. Twenty-nine. Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven. Tick tock, motherfuckers, ain’t got all damn day.”

Guns began to face them, the slow clicks as safeties turned off echoing through the warehouse.

Michael hummed, but his bloodthirsty grin betrayed his words as he said, “well, that’s a shame, isn’t it, Vagabond? I guess they’re not feeling very hospitable.”

Ryan flexed his fingers on his shotgun, lowering his head slightly for bright blue eye to glare out at them all.

“Twenty, nineteen, eighteen… you guys suck at this. Usually people listen to us a lot faster,” Michael said. He glanced toward Ryan and rolled his shoulders. 

Ryan looked back to him and tipped his head slightly. Michael raised an eyebrow and nodded. 

“Eleven, ten, nine, eight,” Michael counted off. 

Someone barked something in another language--Spanish? Ryan reacted slightly, so possibly-- and three men turned toward Jeremy.

They stared in shock at the empty chair. 

“Oh. Hm. Well, fuck,” Michael said with a shrug and a grin.

The guy who had yelled suddenly cried out and fell face first to the floor.

“Guess you shoulda thought sooner,” said Jeremy’s voice as he stepped over the man, cracking his bronze knuckles. It was more for show, but the gleaming metal definitely was intimidating, especially after knocking their leader out flat.

Michael charged forward on metal legs under his pants, barreling through the gang members, some of whom fell to the floor, others simply jumping aside to avoid him. He skidded to a stop beside Jeremy and passed him a gun he’d had strapped to his back, painted garishly.

“Hey, thanks, pal,” Jeremy said. 

“Yeah, no problem,” Michael replied, before all three opened fire.

The gang members really didn’t stand a chance. It was almost disappointing when they stepped over corpses and sizzling robotic hulls to return to the outside. 

It was a cool evening, the sky heavy with rain. It was between showers, and the puddles on the ground reflected the dark sky. Their shoes splashed in the water as they walked, Michael supporting Jeremy through his limp.

“Here,” Ryan said, “let me help.”

Jeremy nodded. They stopped, and Ryan took a moment to kneel down and examine the knife wound. He searched for his first aid kit, something small kept in his jacket, and after a topical healing spray, wrapped it with gauze. Jeremy sighed in relief.

“There, better?” Ryan asked, standing. 

“Way better,” Jeremy agreed. “Thanks, guys.”

“Well, we sure as hell weren’t gonna leave you there!” Michael exclaimed. He lifted a hand to his ear. “Hey, Jackie, Gavvo, we got Lil J, we ready to roll?”

“Bringing the car to you guys,” replied a feminine voice. “What should I be prepared for?”

“Couple little boo-boos,” Michael replied, making Ryan snort. “Nothing too bad. We kicked ass.”

“I wish they put up more of a fight,” Ryan grumbled.

After a minute or two, a hovercar pulled up. The door was flung open and a lanky man glittering in gold shot out to almost tackle Jeremy into a hug. “Lil J! Ya bastard, I missed you!”

Jeremy hugged him back. “Missed you too, Gav. Good to see you.”

A woman stepped out, her hair bright red and her silver arms accented in pale gold. A soft yellow light glimmered from her palms. “Ryan, you drive, I’ll take care of Jeremy.”

Ryan nodded and took the front. Michael immediately stole shotgun, making Gavin squawk in protest. He was met with a middle finger and a “get in the back,” from an amused Ryan.

Jack helped Jeremy into the car and once Gavin was seated, Ryan took off. Jack carefully inspected his injuries. 

“Good news, you’re not gonna die from them,” she said.

“That is good news.”

She smiled. “Hold still.” She held out her hand, and the glow from her palms swirled out in a wide beam. Jeremy sighed as the healing energy sapped the pain from the injuries and began to knit back together the broken flesh. 

“Geoff’s gonna kick your ass,” Gavin said. 

“He’s gonna kick all our asses for jumping the gun on this,” Michael replied. “But who cares? We got Jeremy back. That’s what matters, right?”

“Let me talk to him first,” Jack warned as the glow faded from her palm. “I’ll tell him what happened.”

Gavin turned to face Jeremy. “So while you were in there, did you learn anything good?”

Jeremy shrugged. “No, not really.They spoke Spanish the whole time. I think they might’ve mentioned Los Muertos once or twice though.”

Ryan’s hands tensed on the steering wheel. 

“Ryan, why didn’t you get kidnapped? You speak Spanish.”

Ryan glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah, lemme hop back in time like fucking Tracer and let myself get kidnapped.”

Gavin shrugged. “Woulda been more useful.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Michael told him. 

“Los Muertos,” Jack mused. “Wonder if a branch of ‘em is starting up here.”

“They wouldn’t be connected to the core of them,” Ryan said immediately. “It’s a Mexican organization. They would have little reason to start up here, unless it’s a group forming on its own inspired by them, not branching off from them.”

“Still,” Jack murmured, looking at her hands. “It’s worrying.”

The rest of the drive back to the city was spent in quiet. A song played on the radio, a boppy tune by a musician from Brazil that Gavin was a fan of. He tapped his fingers on his leg to the beat, golden jewelry clinking ever so softly.

The crew’s base of operations was an impressive penthouse set up with a massive amount of security. They had other bases and safehouses and storage warehouses and garages and so on scattered throughout the city, but for the most part, this was where they all stayed. 

The elevator ride up was spent in the same tense quiet as the car ride. Jeremy was healing fairly quickly with Jack’s help. His eye was still purple, but less swollen, and his limp was less noticeable. 

Jack took the lead.

The second she stepped into the penthouse, she only barely caught the fist flying toward her face. Geoff looked up at her with a panicked expression before burying his face in her neck and wrapping her in a tight hug.

He lifted his face and zeroed in on Jeremy. 

Geoff released Jack, lightly touched her face, and then turned on Jeremy, who looked quite nervous now. He held still as Geoff approached.

“You’re a fucking dumbass,” Geoff said before enveloping him in a hug as well. “I hate you.”

“Love you too, boss,” Jeremy replied, gladly returning the affectionate gesture. 

Geoff pulled away and held Jeremy at arm’s length for a moment, looking over his face. His gaze lingered on the bruise of Jeremy’s eye and the blood caking his broken nose. He looked to Jack, who gave a dip of her head, before he released Jeremy. 

“Go get yourself cleaned up, buddy,” Geoff said. 

“Yessir!” Jeremy chirped before hurrying off. 

“And you.” Geoff turned a stink eye on Ryan, Michael, and Gavin. “Go sit and wait. Jack, come with me a minute.”

Geoff and Jack headed for the kitchen as the other three slunk for the living room. 

Geoff set a kettle on the stove and turned to Jack, who leaned up against the counter. Her arms clinked softly as she crossed them over her chest with a curious look at Geoff. 

“What the fuck?” he hissed.

“We got that lead,” she said. “I know you wanted to wait. But Ryan was right. The longer we waited before going after them, the more in danger Jeremy could’ve been. You know how bad it is now. He’s lucky.”

He sighed and eyed the liquor cabinet. “I know… I just… dammit, tell me next time. You guys were gone all day, didn’t even contact me! I’ve been running around like a chicken without its head!”

“We were a little preoccupied,” Jack said with chagrin. Now that Geoff looked at her in the better light, there were cuts and bruises on her as well. “You were off trying to find some contacts, and Ryan was looking into that tip, and he thought we should take the chance right away. So we did. And it worked. We got there just in time.”

Geoff leaned against the counter beside her and let his head rest on her shoulder. It probably wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world. “I’m sorry. I should have listened to you guys.”

“You’re fine. Jeremy is safe. That’s all that matters.” Jack leaned her head on top of his. “You did what you thought was best. You took the road of caution, and maybe this time, it didn’t work out. But it’s kept us alive all these years.”

“I’m glad he’s okay.”

Jack reached up to pat Geoff on the cheek. “Me too.”

They stood there a few moments, not speaking, just enjoying the company and the quiet. After a little while, Geoff stood and began to get mugs and instant hot chocolate mix. It was a timeless tradition Geoff had grown up with and shared with his crew now. 

Armed with mugs of steaming hot chocolate, the pair headed out to find Michael quite literally sitting on Gavin, who had clearly given up fighting him, Ryan on another seat cleaning his gun. His mask sat on the table. 

“Move,” Geoff ordered. 

Michael hopped up to let Gavin sit up. Gavin groaned and stretched his spine as he did so. Ryan grabbed his mask so Geoff and Jack could set down the mugs.

“Leave one for Jeremy,” Jack told them.

They all sat down and reached for drinks. Michael and Gavin shared a worried look. Ryan kept his face calm and stoic. In the dim light from the lamp across the room, his face paint glowed bright. 

“So,” Geoff started after a minute. “How much money did we lose from this?”

They all looked at each other nervously. “Not too much? Bullets, energy for the hovercar?” Michael said. 

Geoff started laughing. “I’m kidding. I don’t give a shit. You did good, boys. I’m proud of you.”

They were quiet for a moment before realizing he was serious. They all relaxed with smiles on their faces. “Thanks, Geoff,” Ryan said quietly. 

“I guess I’m a little overprotective of you guys.” Geoff sighed. “You’re grownups. You can make choices on your own.”

“You are the boss,” Michael told him. “But, yeah, we’re pretty capable.”

“Geoff,” Gavin said, sitting up straight. “Jeremy said that they were talking about Los Muertos.”

Ryan grumbled a curse as Geoff looked at Gavin sharply. “What?”

“But he doesn’t bloody understand Spanish so we’ll never know what they meant.” Gavin huffed.

Geoff gave Ryan a look. Ryan shrugged and looked over his shotgun. “No idea. Maybe someone’s trying to start a branch here. It wouldn’t be directly from Los Muertos. More like people trying to copy them or something. There’s no reason for Los Muertos to be here, unless they’ve changed their mission since I left.”

“I’ll have to tell Matt,” Geoff said, more to himself than the others. “That’s pretty concerning.”

“Especially with Talon in the area,” Ryan said darkly. 

The atmosphere felt thicker with the mention. Gavin nervously played with his jewelry. 

Jeremy came out from his room with his colored hair damp and clean clothes on. “Whoa, okay, talk about an awkward time to walk in.”

“Hey, Jeremy,” Michael said. “Feel better?”

“Mm-hmm.” His eyes had caught the hot chocolate on the table.

“That’s yours,” Geoff said with a grin. “You deserve it, buddy.”

“Aw, thanks, Geoff!” Jeremy scooped up the mug and plopped beside Michael. “Everything okay?”

“Just worried about… you know. Everything.” Geoff ran a heavily tattooed hand through his hair, leaving dark locks sticking out every which way. “Man, we can’t catch a fuckin’ break, can we?”

“Nope.” Jeremy sipped his hot chocolate. “We’ve got shit luck.”

Geoff snorted. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Gavin held out his drink. “To better luck,” he said.

Everyone stared at him for a second before Michael laughed and raised his mug. “To Gavin’s optimism.”

“To Jeremy’s health,” Ryan added, lifting his own.

“To a better future,” Jack said.

“To us!” Geoff exclaimed.

Geoff’s thoughts drifted to his own adventures from throughout the day. Maybe they weren’t as exciting as a dangerous rescue mission, but just as worrisome.

Geoff didn’t have the heart to tell them as they dissolved into chatter, and at some point someone fetched various alcohol for everyone but Ryan. Geoff didn’t really pay attention, adding something to his drink. He was distracted.

The message for him, from someone he never thought he would hear from again….

There was no way. He stared down into the swirling chocolate. Sure, he was already technically a criminal, but the UN would be a terrible enemy to make.

_ Recall Overwatch _ … Geoff felt sick at the thought. It ended like shit last time. Even with the rampant attacks from Talon lately... 

“Geoff?” 

Geoff looked up. “Yeah?”

“You got a fly in there or something?” Michael asked, but there was concern on his face.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. We’re just… I’m worried. We can’t let our guard down again. Talon’s been…” He sighed.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Jeremy said.

Geoff nodded. “It’s bad all over the world. Not just Talon. The omnics… all these corporations…”

“It’s a bloody mess,” Gavin muttered. “We’re all on a sinking ship, ain’t we?”

“Patched the hole with duct tape,” Michael agreed. “Might as well drink till we drown.”

Geoff stayed up late. He rewrote and rewrote his reply to the recall over and over. Finally, he gave up and sent it.

> _ Winston, _
> 
> _ You’re a fucking lunatic.  _
> 
> _ The UN is gonna be on you the second you show your face. I’m in deep enough as it is, and I can’t have them on my ass too.  _
> 
> _ We’re pretty busy here in the States. It’s not great here. We’re handling it. Got my own posse now, though we’ll never be Overwatch. Funds are hard to get legally.  _
> 
> _ I’ll support you guys from here. Be careful. Don’t do anything stupid. If you have anyone in the area sometime who needs a hand, have them look for the Fakes. We’ll help if we can. _
> 
> _ Good luck. _
> 
> _ GLR _

Geoff had his hands full. He couldn’t join a reformed Overwatch. Sure, maybe their missions aligned anyway, but Geoff had local business to worry about.

He was going to erase Talon from his city. 

**Author's Note:**

> There's loads more on my tumblr, rage-quitter! check the tag "fahc ovw au" to see all sorts of things in this universe, like ability breakdowns, costume/skin ideas, and art!


End file.
